I called
Bé. I called Bé because she’s always been present in several moments and
because I always felt that she had a special affection for this project ever
since its first steps. And that's why, in my first moment at the publisher,
that I told her and Francisco about 20 times that the book, no matter the
quality of its content, would only make sense as an object of style. It had to
be something beautiful at the eye and that made us want to touch it. And when Bé
met me at the publisher and I opened the envelope with the book I couldn’t help
but release a “fuck”. What I had with me was not just an object. It was the
object without none of this would make sense. At that moment the effort of
contacting more than 200 people scattered all over the world was worth it. Of
having called Pierre, Andrea, of having discovered James’ facebook, of having
waited for Aida, Demi and Vittoria’s answers or having explained, personally, in
every little detail, everything that Yim’s portrait revealed about his
intimacy. Because I wanted each and every one of those people to do more than
just appear in the book. I wanted them to feel that they were part of it. But I
felt so much more than that. I felt that Rui’s wife would look at the book and
forgive him for getting home late or Joana’s kid wouldn’t mind being without
his mother’s company on that Sunday. Because, at that moment, all hours of hard
work made sense. Every graphic detail with which I tested Rui’s patience or
every stupidity that I discussed with Carla. It’s not up to me to decide for
themselves if all was worth it or not, but from the moment I saw the book, I
felt that all of them – Bé, Francisco, Rui, Joana and Carla – would also think
to themselves:
- it was
worth it.
This blog
has made me live things that otherwise I would have never lived . Things that I
cannot explain here or even in the more intimate environment (or so I hope) of
a book launching event. I can’t even tell you – as humble as it would be for me
to say it – that this book was something I never hoped for. To be totally
honest I knew (or thought I knew, some days are better than others) that this
book was bound to happen sooner or later. I knew that I would get an e-mail
someday. And the day Francisco came to me I almost told him “hey man, what took
you so long??”. But I felt something more important than that in this book. For
now, this book is one of the few things I can brag about in my life. Every
little thing I did with this blog I did it because it made sense to me. And, if
I think about it, with a certain pride. This book embodies that pride. A
beautiful body.
The book
was launched in Lisbon, on April 17th at Buchholz bookstore. In Porto, on April
21st. And there will be a book signing session at Feira do Livro in Lisbon. The idea of the word “autograph” and my name in the
same sentence makes no sense to me. But I’ll be there with a pen and – more
important than that – with the availability and good mood for those that feel
that I’m worth spending some time with. Which, I must add, seems like a really
bad decision but – since I can’t decide for Bé, Francisco, Rui, Joana or Carla
if all was worth it or not – it won’t be me telling you what you should do or
not do of your life
love,
Zé
